when books make you cry like fuck you book you’re a stack of paper
"ur a giant fuckin dork" I say, trying to convey my great esteem and admiration for you as best I know how.
I think Stephen Fry described it really well. It’s like… Clouds coming over you. You can do absolutely nothing about it. You can get an umbrella, wear a raincoat, stay indoors- whatever you can, but it doesn’t change the weather. You can’t control the weather. When the clouds pass, take joy in the sunshine, to remember the next time it gets cloudy.
It’s not something you -recover- from like getting a cold. There are medicines to help- and they DO help! And ways of coping… (Coping mechanisms- glitter jars for me, warmth/pressure wrapping) but it becomes a lighter load, easier to deal with and understand, especially when you can pinpoint it. (As in, “Oh, I’m having a down day. I need to take care of myself and do things to alleviate it, ad understand that this will pass, and happiness will come again.”)
Sometimes depression is situational- regarding an event or a circumstance- but constant, recurring lows are likely chemical, and are very, very difficult to lift on your own. As hard as it is, ask for help from someone who is trained to help you, and ask for what you need from friends and family you trust.
Most importantly, self-care, anon. As someone who gets self-loathing really bad, it’s hard, but you have to be gentle with yourself when you hit lows. It is literally the depression talking, and that is a skewed perspective. I keep a copy of the “Desiderata” handy. Specifically this passage:
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
Take care, Anon. C:
yeah good grades are cool and all but have you ever had a good night sleep